New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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