You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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