do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
