Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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