I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
