He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
