He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
