you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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