Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
