i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Randomize
