if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Randomize
