My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
