No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize