I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
