I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
