If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
