YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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