I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
