I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
