operation harelip BJ is a go
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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