she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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