real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
