piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
