I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
