I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize