somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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