I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize