If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
