summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
