we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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