Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
