I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
