Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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