do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
