i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
