Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
