That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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