That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
