Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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