So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Randomize
