I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
