Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
