She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Randomize
