1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
