he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
