Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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