You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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