i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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