Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
