Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize