yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
