Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
