At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
