Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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