im having a threesome with these popsicles
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
