I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
