I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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